MARRIAGE SCHOOL: Hard Knocks Come

​As of today, we have been married for 544 days or 1 year, 5 months and 26 days. In the big scheme of things, this is no time at all. I hope we are one of those #realtionshipgoals posts in 49 more years. But all things considered, I am pleased that we are not just “hangin’ in there” but we are thriving in our marriage because we are students of each other. 

In just over 500 days, we have endured deaths on both sides, moved across the country, started new careers, blended our family and learned to be married to a stranger (see previous posts for backstory) SHEESH! Just one of those life changes is enough to cause a decent size crack in a budding marriage. We have managed to pull closer through all of that but it has NOT been easy. 

Life. Changes. 

We have chosen to be like water and flow around the mountains and over the molehills. Perfection is unattainable, we just strive to stay accountable and responsible to and for each other. The one certainty is that life will change. We will endure many more cycles. While we are enrolled in “Marriage School” we have to blindly trust in the process, be open to growth and be committed to prayer for direction and protection of our union. 

What I have learned being Mrs. Edward Raheem Ali Crawford:
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1. My spouse is one of the greatest spiritual teachers of my life!
2. I need CREDIT!!! Edward developed a system of showing appreciation for things I do for him. When I do something he likes, he sends me a text with a predetermined “credit” emoji. It is amazing what I will do to see that emoji!
3. Expectations need to be constantly reassessed. Meeting my spouse’s expectations has been a challenge but we talk through it constantly. He is aware of my effort and he is also aware of the struggles I have in changing lifelong behaviors. It’s dance. He leads.
4. Presence over Presents. I love shiny, blingy, expensive things but my hubby is a minimalist. I have grown to love this about him. We now look for inexpensive ways to show our love or have a date night without breaking the bank. Quality time is free. I treasure his thoughtful handmade gifts more than anything he could buy me.
5. I should consider the budget before purchasing (still working on this, see #3).
6. Don’t tell him what to do!
7. He ALWAYS chooses me.
8. I ALWAYS choose him.
9. Love is great but commitment is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy better!
10. Being married to him was the scariest but best decision I have ever made and I would do it again and again and again and again!

What are some of the lessons your marriage has taught you?

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Stay Dope this holiday season.
​-MBC