I was the queen of the first dates. In my 10 years of living in LA I have probably dated half of the city. My reasoning was simple: dating more should have increased my chances of finding love. I figured the law of averages would have to apply. If I went on 100 dates surely there would have to be ONE in the bunch!
After years of working my plan, I was exhausted. I didn't want to tell my life story again. I didn't want to waste a cute outfit and a beat face to be disappointed. I've cried, yelled and screamed at God to send me my husband but it didn't work. How could He let me be in such agony? Didn't He want me to be married? Can't he feel my heart breaking in one million more pieces after experiencing all of the rejection I endured. I finally surrendered.
I got busy loving God. I decided I wanted God more than a husband. I may have never gotten the man but I had to have God. I decided to give up everything remotely tied to a man for Lent. No flirting, dating, talking to men I found attractive, NOTHING! I flipped a switch overnight. I cut my roster and decided I would spend the time I would have ordinarily used for dating to watch YouTube sermons, pray, read my Bible and find out more about my maker. I stopped obsessing over finding my man. I became content with the idea of only having what God wanted me to have when He wanted me to have it.
I gave up my list of wants. I started being grateful for my very full and amazing life. It was when I let go, I received. Fully Surrendered!
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