Not everyone was excited for us once we announced we had literally run off and gotten married. Some of our friends and family members expressed sadness over not being able to see Edward and I get married. It's not that we didn't care, it's just not about them. It's about us.
My husband and I had a whirlwind courtship that is by any standard quick. We met and got engaged on the first date, moved in on the second date and married all inside of 90 days! However, the part most people miss is that both my husband and I heard directly from God concerning the other person even before we physically met (see her story for details). So miss me with your judgements! Nevertheless, we have even had pastors attempt to discourage us from moving "fast."
I want to be very clear, I'm aware this is a far out story. If I was on the other side of the fence I would be grabbing popcorn to watch the train wreck. However, I have the benefit of being one of two people who know what is happening inside my marriage.
Here's my advice for handling breaking the news.
Fuck 'em! Not everyone will be able to be apart of your beautiful next chapter. I loss a friend who was like a sister to me in the process of meeting and marrying Edward. But as much as I loved her, I love him more. There are going to be many instances that require you to "decide" who to choose. I can only side with the only person on this Earth who has promised to be with me until the end of our natural days. The choice is no choice at all.
Our story was a true elopement. We decided at 4pm the previous day to get married at 11am the next day. We knew people would be shocked but we were sure this is how we wanted to do it. Both Edward and I decided to hold off on announcing our elopement until we could notify all people who should not have to find out something so important on social media. We decided to create this blog not only to serve as our announcement to the masses but also to answer many of the questions we would be forced to answer over and over. My husband built the site in a few hours on our honeymoon. Nothing was done ahead of time.
Decide how you want to tell those people who are close to you. We opted to tell 99% of people after we were already married to protect our decision from those who would seek to try to talk us out of it. This is a very personal decision. Who you decide to tell is entirely up to you.
Learn from my Mistakes!
I didn't notify two people who are extremely important to me because I was afraid their reactions. I regret that now. I wish I would have told them before the news hit the internet. I was so happy on the day of our elopement I just wanted to preserve that moment and without knowing how they would receive the news I just opted for the passive approach. In retrospect, I would have handled it differently. It was very hurtful to people I love. Take that into account if you decide to let the internet or other people disseminate news of your life event to people who should have heard first hand.
Our situation is unique. We both come from smaller families. Both of my parents are deceased. However, I did have to break the news to my Nigerian step-dad who is very traditional. I was petrified to tell him! I made the call and was so shocked at his reaction. He was OVERJOYED! Even though he was very accepting of our elopement, I had already decided if he didn't react the way I wanted him to I would be ok with it.
Parents are especially delicate because many of them have fantasies of their children's wedding day. If you have parents who will be disappointed they were not a part of your day try to do something special to include them in your celebration. Maybe a special dinner or weekend will make them feel included. You could also send them a keepsake box with mementos from your special day.
You may want to opt for live streaming options available at many venues. Investing in photography and videography is always a plus. Put together a slide show or video to show to your parents or plan a reception/viewing party for all of your loved ones to enjoy. Whatever you decide just know that you don't owe anyone an explanation but be ok with taking the heat that will surely come as a result of your decisions.
We want you to share your stories! Send us pictures of your elopement and why you and your love decided to dope elope! We look forward to sharing in your love. Email us your stories, comments or congratulatory messages to firstname.lastname@example.org