I'm going to end my vulnerability series on the topic of HEADSHIP, what it means and more importantly, what it means to me (us). If you read Mikki's post on submission, she breaks down how she views marriage from a woman's perspective, the submissive woman. On the flip side of that coin is the man's place in the position of headship. Although I did get one example for a prosperous marriage, It was only in small glimpses because I went to a private boarding school where I only came home on the weekends. In my opinion, this put me (many of us) at a disadvantage when it come to leading a household. I mean, how could I lead when I had, on many occasions, questioned my own faith in the institution?
I didn't understand the concept fully until we went to premarital counseling. There we learned from a couple that had been teaching the class for almost as long as they’ve been married (20 years). They taught us that the man needs be the protective covering for his family.
I initially thought that a husband switch would turn on when I found the woman I wanted to marry. But of course, it didn’t. I also thought that when people say that “marriage takes work”, I didn’t realize that most of the “work” is work on oneself.
My greatest challenge is to actually live up to a standard that I didn’t get to witness growing up. Some may think that it’s an innate thing to be “man of the house” and, in theory, it is. However, when you come from an environment that didn't provide tried and true examples it takes an open heart and mind to discover your shortcomings. I had to learn to give selfless in service of my wife. After so many years of only caring about my own immediate needs, I am on the path to complete oneness with another person. I am proud to say that my faith is growing stronger everyday, just as our young marriage is.
Christlike male headship means that you show strength wherever you can. You’re not a sphinx; you’re not a superman. You can and should show genuine emotion, and you should make clear to your son(s) that men get sad, men get angry at evil, men are tender and gentle with women. But like David charged Solomon, you’re engaged in a lifelong process of “showing yourself a man” and thus being strong for others (1 Kings 2:2). When hardship hits, headship persists.
We want you to share your stories! Send us pictures of your elopement and why you and your love decided to dope elope! We look forward to sharing in your love. Email us your stories, comments or congratulatory messages to firstname.lastname@example.org