I will concede that I am all of the following:
But as the saying goes: “when you know, you know.” If you’ve read any of our Dope Elope story, you know that we moved super fast (by most standards). Or maybe that's solely a new age of thinking. Or just a new aged, American, privileged, tons of options way of thinking.
In Egypt, India, Japan, Afghanistan, China, and South Korea arranged marriages are still all the rage. Why do I mention arranged marriages, you say? In some Indian cultures marrying for love (as opposed to arranged) is frowned upon. Could you imagine? Seriously, can you even fathom being in an arranged marriage? I couldn’t, but it works. Eastern countries that partake in arranged marriages have some of the lowest divorce rates in the world. Of course it helps that these countries make it incredibly difficult to get a divorce.
The western culture is different, as you know. We grow up knowing that even those lowest on the socioeconomic scale have options. Some times it takes a bit of luck, sometimes money but all in all we can choose, and if we feel that we chose wrong, we can choose again.
Mikki and I were married exactly 90 days from the day we were engaged, which was one week after we first spoke to each other (make it 97 days). We didn’t plan to get married so quickly, but it happened. Most people would say that that isn’t enough time… for anything. Including a senior pastor at the church where we did our premarital counseling. But we say it’s plenty. We have the ability choose and we chose each other. So we aren’t traditional and we never claimed to be. When you think about it, how “traditional” are any of us anymore? I’d probably frown if one of my daughters took the same route as us however, it would be a short lived frown. I will only be in one marriage in this lifetime.
The funniest part is that there was a time when I didn’t believe in marriage. I’ve actually had conversations with friends where we’ve discussed how the idea is flawed and worthless. Even though I was engaged once before, I was never really sold on the idea of it all. After several failed relationships (mostly my fault) I had to do some inner eracionalization (by myself meeting) and reexamine my own life trajectory. It just so happened that I met Mikki during that period and guess what I'm singin' now...
Follow your heart and stay dope,
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